I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I’m still single, and honestly, the answer always comes back to one thing: money. Not just having it, but the lack of it. Living paycheck to paycheck is hard enough as it is, but trying to even consider dating when you’re broke? It feels impossible.
People like to talk about how love doesn’t need money, and sure, love itself might be free. But when you’re a man, there’s this unspoken (or sometimes very spoken) expectation that you should be the provider. You’re expected to spend money on dates, buy gifts, plan future trips, and generally "prove" that you’re capable of taking care of someone. It’s like if you’re not financially stable, you’re automatically not relationship material. And that pressure? It’s real.
I see it all around me. Whether it’s on social media or from people I know, there’s always this underlying message that men should be financially secure before they even think about dating. You’re not just looking for love, you’re auditioning for the role of a "provider." And if you’re not up to the task? Well, good luck, because apparently that makes you a loser. You’re not "worthy" of a relationship if you can’t take someone out to nice dinners or spoil them every now and then.
And here’s where I’m stuck: I can barely afford to treat myself, let alone someone else. Living paycheck to paycheck means every little expense has to be carefully calculated. It’s not just about dates or gifts—it’s about feeling like I can’t offer anything substantial. I don’t own property. I don’t have a car. I’m working a not-so-great job that barely covers the basics, and honestly, I don’t see how any of that is attractive to someone looking for a serious relationship.
It’s frustrating because I know love isn’t supposed to be about money. I know relationships are supposed to be about emotional connection, shared values, and mutual support. But when you’re constantly worrying about finances, it’s hard not to feel like you’re starting with a massive disadvantage. The reality is, being broke changes how you approach everything—especially dating.
It’s not that I don’t want to be in a relationship. I do. But every time I think about putting myself out there, I feel like my financial situation is this big, ugly elephant in the room. I don’t want to be that guy who can’t contribute equally, or worse, be seen as someone who’s taking advantage of their partner. The thought of having to explain why I can’t afford certain things is embarrassing, and it feels easier to just avoid the whole thing altogether.
What makes it worse is this societal narrative that if you’re not financially stable, you’re somehow less of a man. I hate that. I hate that I’ve internalized it, and I hate that it stops me from pursuing something meaningful. But the truth is, I feel inadequate. Like, how can I even think about building a future with someone when I can’t even guarantee my own stability?
I don’t have anything to offer in the way of financial security. I don’t own a home, I don’t have a car, and I’m stuck in a job that’s just... fine, but nothing special. Sometimes I think, "What could I possibly bring to the table in a relationship?" And the answer feels like nothing. It’s not just the external pressures that make me feel this way—it’s also my own sense of self-worth being tied to financial stability. It feels like until I can check off those boxes, I don’t have the right to even think about love or a future with someone.
Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe there’s someone out there who wouldn’t care about my financial situation. But the pressure is there, constantly reminding me that love, as much as people want to say it’s free, often comes with a price tag. And right now? I’m just not in a place where I can afford it.
Maybe that’s why I’m still single. Not because I don’t want love, but because I feel like I don’t deserve it until I have everything figured out financially. It’s a weird, frustrating space to be in—wanting connection but feeling like money is standing in the way.
So yeah, that’s where I’m at. Trying to figure out how to balance wanting a relationship with the reality of being broke. It sucks, but it is what it is. For now, I guess I’ll just keep doing my best, and hope that someday, the weight of all this financial pressure won’t feel so heavy.
